and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
