I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I did not marry a roomba.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
