I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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