Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
