pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
