Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
