Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
