Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
