is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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