There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
