We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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