She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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