check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
