break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
from now on my penis is your penis
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
