That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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