the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
