How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
