does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
