Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
