Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
