ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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