A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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