Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize