I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
