Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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