apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
