You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
