Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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