I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
