How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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