New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
