I wish I could punch you in the face.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
