Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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