he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
