theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
