Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
