We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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