Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
