I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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