mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Alive.
So much puke
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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