You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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