Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize