I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
