apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
