Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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