i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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