And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
