Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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