have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
