if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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