Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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