I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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