69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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