There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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