Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
