One girl and one boy is just not enough.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
