Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
