I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
