dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
