the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
