Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize