Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
