We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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