Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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