I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
