I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
