And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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