similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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