We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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