I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The feeling are messing with the penis
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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