Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
